Sunday Scene: 15 Minutes to Live

Hello.

Welcome to my peace filled space.  Thank you for choosing to join me here!

I was recently led to a very fun, inspirational 30 day writing challenge.  My mind said: “I do not have time”…but my life affirmation says:

 “I have more than enough time to create all that is meaningful to me”. 

 In honoring this affirmation, I joined the challenge..after reviewing the first two prompts that I missed, I understand that participating will stretch me a bit; lately I am all about stretching.

I dove right into the first prompt which is: “You have just discovered you have 15 minutes to live.  Write the story that needs to be written”.

Hmm.. a big, exuberant stretch!  Allow expressions to blossom:

There are many times in my life I was told I “wasn’t supposed to be here”…beginning from a very young age when the story goes that if I was a boy my mom would have had an abortion through two years ago when I was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cancer and told I wouldn’t live through that season’s holidays.  Somewhere in between, I “survived” a dramatic coast guard rescue at sea–my friend and I almost died together– and when my feet finally hit the docks I was told in amazement I shouldn’t be standing and I definitely shouldn’t be *here*..

In many ways, I defy the odds then..

Physical death does not scare me.  Emotional death does not scare me.  Relational death scares me so I am healing that.  Hard to “hold on to someone” when I live mindfully present in the moment..so I am probably not as consistent in my relationships as I should be.  (yes, I know be wary of “should”…and of “stories”…but I do find I give one million per cent quality when you are sharing energy with me in that moment..I just cannot guarantee the next moments..and in my experience people tend to like guarantees over quality)…so I “lose” a lot of people. 

That’s the introduction.  The heart of what I would share in the next few minutes is this:

As an Empath, I See you. 

I find it mildly amusing that upon meeting me, your eyes sparkle in recognition but I watch a filter cover your vision, and a barrier slide up to cover your heart.  You shake my hand or hug me and exclaim how wonderful the energy is that emanates from me, yet you deflect it almost as readily as you embrace it. 

And I want to say I love that freakin smile that lights up your eyes..it’s what warms my heart..whether I’ve met you briefly at the grocery store, or we’ve spent the day exploring, or you are in my personal space..I love that freakin’ mega watt smile that lights up your eyes, lights the world…lights my heart. 

Love doesn’t hurt. 

People hurt, but love doesn’t.  We use filters, put up barriers, push away the very *light* that we yearn for, then we blame the light for the ensuing darkness.  It’s not the light.  It’s us. 

When we are hurt, we don’t have to hang on to it.  We may release it and move past it. We may use it to motivate us to amazing things. 

We tend to cling to what is comfortable yet no longer fits, because the idea of not knowing often scares us more than the idea of being constricted, limited, squashed..so sometimes when we scan the room we think we are looking at well dressed, happy people..but we Feel the tension of constricted, limited, squashed..and we don’t know what to do with that so we eat, and make jokes, and pretend when inside we are screaming please notice me and love me for who I am.

This is what I shared with my loved ones when I was not supposed to live past the holidays. I love you.  You already know that because I show it and tell it when you are with me.  God/Universe/Nature loves you..and when I die, please continue to embrace God/Universe/Nature as lovingly and joyfully as you do while I am here.  Look to the sky and let it reflect to you, take to the hiking trails and let them guide you, touch the trees smell the flowers breathe in the fresh air and let it nurture you..pray, meditate, love, live, laugh, sing, dance, create..

And for fuck’s sake, I am here* right now*, so let your self love me as I love you..I See you, so instead of wasting energy masking *you*, why not invest energy experiencing and creating together.

(I’m a sailor girl with a sailor girl mouth, so excuse the expression)…

No fear..only love.

Pure genuine, freakin’ rock your world, light your eyes, love..

Much peace,

Joy

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  1. #1 by Sibyl on June 5, 2011 - 2:02 am

    Joy: What a great message. I loved what you said about just taking it all in and really experiencing what is in front of you. I really appreciate that advice. I also loved what you said about no fear … only love. Who knew you were a sailor girl 🙂 I laughed when I read that. Great post.

    • #2 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 6, 2011 - 1:38 am

      Hi Sibyl,
      Thank you:)
      I am a sailor girl..and sometimes only certain adjectives capture exactly what I Feel:) I’m glad you laughed..your comment brightened my smile *grin*
      I learned no fear, only love from many experiences in my life..but sailing has taught me how to open my heart fully with fear/past fear…

  2. #3 by Keith on June 5, 2011 - 1:43 pm

    Joy,

    You sailor girl you! LOL

    You send a crucial with this post. LIVE in THIS PRESENT MOMENT! How easy it is to live in “anticipation”. Anticipation of the next hour, the next day or whatever and ignore the moment of life we are IN.

    Thanks Joy. 🙂

    …and you keep sailin’

    • #4 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 6, 2011 - 1:42 am

      Hi Keith,
      *grin* yep as sailor girl at heart..and I am proud to embrace that:)
      Thank you for stopping in and for the enthusiasm in your comment! This post was very significant to me because I created it while Stretching…and allowed myself to be quite vulnerable as I shared my heart on my own way…
      *This* is the moment we have..thank you for creating amazing music for us to listen to while we are in it!

  3. #5 by Sandra Pawula on June 5, 2011 - 5:32 pm

    Joy ~ Your confidence inspires me! So true > “I watch a filter cover your vision, and a barrier slide up to cover your heart.” May we all be free!

    • #6 by Keith on June 6, 2011 - 12:32 am

      A crucial MESSAGE is what I meant. 🙂

      • #7 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 6, 2011 - 1:50 am

        Hi Keith,
        *grin* got it…a crucial message..some heart whispers..a reflection..
        or: love…:)

    • #8 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 6, 2011 - 1:44 am

      Hi Sandra,
      Thank you for your comment..
      Yes! to freedom and confidence and the ability to express our heart whispers exactly as they would like..
      Thank *you* for graciously receiving what I’ve chosen to share with this piece in this space:)

  4. #9 by Leslie Rinchen-Wongmo on June 5, 2011 - 8:35 pm

    I love you!
    So many gems to jog my memory here.
    So much love, insight, and self-recognition.
    Thank you.

    • #10 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 6, 2011 - 1:48 am

      Hi Leslie,
      Thank you for visiting my online space:)
      And thank you for your love and support:)
      As I’ve shared, this piece is especially significant to me because I stretched a bit while creating it..
      My intent is love..genuine, pure, heart felt, can create amazing from it..love.

  5. #11 by Rosemary on June 5, 2011 - 9:18 pm

    Joy…you write straight from the heart of the ’empath’ that you are!

    “No fear..only love.

    Pure genuine, freakin’ rock your world, light your eyes, love”….

    I love your passion for life, love and living…there’s a wild beauty to your words!

    Thank you
    Rosemary

    • #12 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 6, 2011 - 1:50 am

      Hi Rosemary,
      Thank you for visiting..and for your wonderful comment! Made my heart smile..I Know you *get it*…and I appreciate that!
      If there is a wild beauty to my words, that is because I am finally embracing the wild beauty within..and allowing my heart whispers to be expressed as they wish..
      As Sandra mentioned; yes! to freedom:)
      Thank *you*!

  6. #13 by Steve! on June 6, 2011 - 2:05 pm

    Joy! In! The! Moment!
    lol!

    GREAT post! GREAT invocation! GREAT jolt!
    “Love doesn’t hurt. People do.” So authentic. Shot right through me.

    I love that you talk about death. So free, open, 3-D! I do too. It’s always. And death is death. Like all endings have to be scary? Naw! It’s transition! And it’s always…its says “unlimited” to me. Power. It says life is life. And death is life too. There’s no ending. No path.

    I keep thinking about “die this life” when I read this! DIe–to our attachment to stuff! People! Expectations! Fairness! The next hour! The next minute! The reminder…is SO good for me. And so you walk in this way. All “in the moment” ‘n stuff! And so you and I intersect. And so you teach..perhaps unintentionally….just by being. (I can’t claim to be in that space always…but when I am–look out! = P )

    I see you Joy.
    I see you.
    I see you.
    I see you.

    cool stuff!
    Another kickass moment with sailor girl!
    Check yer headlights!
    = D

    • #14 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 7, 2011 - 11:15 pm

      Hi Steve,
      *grin* let us be clear you are talking about the headlights of the car:)
      Thank you for your support, all that you reflect…your enthusiasm jumps off this page..always!
      I love this for the profound simplicity in it: “death is death”…
      I wrote this piece from my heart..to my heart..and I refer to it throughout this week as I continue to embrace life and release all else..
      I know you See me Steve, and I appreciate all that you hold in your vision..
      Kickass..oh yea:)

  7. #15 by Rand on June 6, 2011 - 6:41 pm

    As the *Sunday Scene* has progressed and passed into this late Monday morning this beat-up, tired, idiotical (but kind), old … who has sailed just a bit…finds that he wants to say: Fuck!… I love you!…and… It is hard to be away from you…for I have *seen* into the depth of your heart.

    Om shanti my dear…

    • #16 by Rand on June 6, 2011 - 6:44 pm

      “old Stagehand”

    • #17 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 7, 2011 - 11:17 pm

      Hi Rand,
      Interesting reflection.. I do share from my heart in this space here, but there is much more to me than what I choose to share..
      What you see reflected is actually pieces of *you*..
      May you use this clarity to create within your life:)

  8. #18 by Aileen | Kaizen Vision on June 6, 2011 - 9:03 pm

    I admire how you live – so committed to being open to life -truly open.
    “No fear..only love.
    Pure genuine, freakin’ rock your world, light your eyes, love..”

    I wish I didn’t know this to be true, “We tend to cling to what is comfortable yet no longer fits, because the idea of not knowing often scares us more than the idea of being constricted, limited, squashed” – it is true however strange it sounds. It’s like fearing something that’s not even there and the result is a partially lived life.

    You inspire me 🙂

    • #19 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 7, 2011 - 11:21 pm

      Aileen,
      Thank you:)
      You reflect to me the infinite possibility of dreams and heart whispers becoming reality..moment by moment…*you* inspire me greatly!
      In your comment, you mention truth..what we know to be true is a story we may change any time we choose..when that story no longer fits we may release it and write a new story..a story that leads to the very reality you reflect to me
      “A partially live life” is a life lived..as well as possible with the tools we have..and I celebrate all of the moments you chose *life* ..you are beauty filled, Aileen…and I am excited as you continue to create from that beauty!

  9. #20 by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord on June 7, 2011 - 12:46 pm

    Timing is everything, even 15 minutes worth, yes?! I’m glad I read this today and not yesterday or the day before. “And for F*** sake!” YES! Man, I don’t relate necessarily (in a conscious way) but I was so glad when you wrote it. Tell it to ’em, sister!

    The part that grabbed me was this: “…the idea of not knowing often scares us more than the idea of being constricted, limited, squashed…” In a nutshell, this is me. I say I want NEW and YES please bring me that thing I’ve been waiting for, but when it’s time to cross the line — that super thin almost invisible line that’s kept me from my “whatever” — I freeze up. I get scared and think, “Maybe tomorrow…I’m pretty comfortable where I am right now.”

    15 minutes to live.
    Reminds me of a saying I read somewhere recently that if we can live in this mindset — “Today is a good day to die” — we are truly free.

    Joy, you sailor-mouth, radiant lil’ lovebug… I love you! And I loved this post. Thank you for taking time to write it, and inspire me.

    • #21 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 7, 2011 - 11:34 pm

      Hi Megan,
      Thank you, Megan..for I know when I express my heart truths you will be there to find something within that expression:)
      I appreciate your comment..May I share this with you? I had an insight this week that went something along the lines of: “I tend to learn the hard way”–right when that thought crossed my mind, I saw the limitations in it, and dropped it..my new affirmation is: I tend to learn. In a delight filled, enrich my life, kind of way. Perhaps when you think of creating and you think: “freeze up” you may affirm: It is pleasureable in every way to receive yes! into my life in the myriad ways Yes! is manifested.. When we label something new, it sometimes involes fear (think instruciton manual, will I know “how”..etc..so perhaps think in terms of Yes! to all that enriches, new old and all in between..
      You inspired me to drop the “how” and embrace the now..and magnificent has appeared:)

  10. #22 by Davina Haisell on June 8, 2011 - 4:24 pm

    Hi Joy.

    I like how you’re gentle… and yet tough at the same time here. Even without the “sailor mouth,” there is a fierceness of character that I admire in you. You are “here,” for a reason and I’m glad you’ve found writing as one expression of it. This was engaging 🙂 Good luck with the challenge.

    • #23 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 10, 2011 - 9:28 pm

      Hi Davina,
      Thank you for all that you reflect to me with your comment..and for your generous offer to be an accountability partner! (Ethereal Joy…accountable??..I will try)…
      Interesting you reflect “tough” and “fierce” two quallities I could not see in myself until a huge insight yesterday..now Universe is reflecting it through so many sources..

  11. #24 by Ellen Eassa on June 10, 2011 - 3:05 pm

    Joy,

    I just met a wonderful girl who always gives heartfelt hugs to others with this cute little hip-wiggle type of motion. It is so precious and so genuine and it really conveys how happy she is just to love you right then and there. I’m giving you one of those hugs right now. 🙂

    I really love your story so far. I’m going to adopt that affirmation you mention about having all the time you need to create what you want to–how perfect for everyone to remember. I am someone who tends to forget that!

    Such a fiesty lady you are! 😉

    I also love that you have a sailor mouth, because I have a little sailor in me too…

    • #25 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 10, 2011 - 9:38 pm

      Ellen,
      Fiesty sailor girls unite:)
      Thank you for the cute little hip wiggle motion hug..love it:)
      Your comment reflects to me multi-faceted and the possibilities available when we open our heart to All within, rather than just one small portion..the magnificence of allowing our hearts to create genuine expressions in whatever format best suits the moment:)

  1. BIG Infinite Dreams ~ Sunday Self-Reflection « *POSITIVE PROVOCATIONS*

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