Welcome to my peace filled space. Thank you for choosing to visit!
My friend, Zeenat, is the lovely guide for the RAOKA group that I participate in monthly (RAOKA=Random Acts of Kick Arse…click here so that you may participate as well RAOKA.) Each month we suggest a theme, and Zeenat chooses one..well, I love the way the word Equanimity sounds, so I submitted it as my suggestion. Guess what? Zeenat picked my word.
I’m in the midst of huge transformation. I truly cannot tell you where I will live next month, what I will physically look like, what job I will have, who will be in my life..As I allow for unfolding in these areas, none of these details are currently set.
I am in the midst of incredible unfolding: creating my life..moment by moment.
I believe in signs from the Universe so equanimity must be a sign. I wondered if I have it, is it something I need to learn, and how will I apply it in my life? I sent gratitude to Zeenat for choosing this word..and I set to work keeping it in my intentions each day…
I think the following might illustrate how equanimity works in my life:
- I live on a boat, so external weather greatly impacts my daily experience of life on the boat…yet I do not check the weather reports.
- When preparing to sail, most people check the ocean and wind statistics far ahead of time..sometimes days or weeks ahead. I do not..I know what day I am available to sail, I know the boat is ready, I know I am skilled. (I do check the day of, so I know whether or not to bring my children along).
- I work in the surgery department of the local hospital. My boss comes in mid-morning and asks how many cases there are for the day. The overall amount of cases determines how ‘busy’ the flow of the day could be..but I do not check..I know what my responsibilities are and I complete them. Twenty cases or six…No worries.
- I am the single mom of two children who go to school in different cities at different times, so we drive about one and a half hours together in the morning and also in the evening. I work full time outside of the home, and full time with an online business. I have a puppy who needs outside time. There are friends and activities to experience, nature to explore, sunsets to view..chores to be done..Yet I do not make a to-do list, or a schedule or a daily plan…I allow for unfolding throughout the day. I use the affirmation: I have more than enough time to create all that is meaningful to me; I create moment by moment in a joy filled, leisurely way.
My life is rich…my heart is full of love and gratitude and I create from this overflowing well. I praise God/Universe/Nature. External has no bearing upon my inner abundance.
A life full of equanimity.
With this word in mind…I recently viewed the movie “Kung Fu Panda II”.. (loved it!)..and guess what the theme is?? Inner peace. Of course!
In this current time in my life..a time that could Feel less than with so many details up in the air..external has no bearing upon my inner abundance nor upon my ability to create..because I have inner peace. And I treasure that! Inner peace=power!
(Significant reflection for me because I often look to external for power rather than gather it from within–sometimes I Feel “powerless” so I surround myself with powerful.).
But I have it! I have it within! And so do you..when you allow your self to open to it…
Feel it? Equanimous. Lovely!
Please allow me to set the scene as I share with you today..this will tie it all together neatly:)
The second straight day of gale force winds whipping through the harbor. Gale force winds contain such power the boat is pushed to the edge of the slip, her boat lines straining to hold, any lines not tied off the mast clanking incessantly..canvas sounds like poppping..boat pitches, sways, rocks violently..
In between two graveyard shifts, I desperately “needed” sleep.
Warning: once you believe you desperately need something, ego is there..I don’t truly “need” anything, but the mere desire of it makes it elusive..I released the idea of sleep..
I Felt to raise my vibration which would turn my perspective around from feeling a void to feeling full.
I aim to open my heart to the moment as it is presented to me; rather than how I wish it might be…
I had been resisting Wind, not very happy about her presence these last two days; I know to enjoy Wind, play with her…
My friend was on the beach kite boarding. (I love that I have a friend who knows how to fly!).
Kite boarding may be best enjoyed when Wind is up, waves are surging..this sport is best when the very power I am resisting in my slip is so huge that Ocean responds with her own power..Ah, the power of nature..
(Reflected to me…)
So, I met my friend on the beach. I chose to nestle right into the rock jetty..protected from Wind, basking in the warmth of Sun..I watched the waves crash over the jetty, spectacular!..reminding me of the glory of power..
I watched as my friend grabbed his surf board..huge smile on his face..allowed his kite to load up with wind, and took off..literally flying over the first wave..(effortlessly!). I watched as the other men did the same..literally flying, gliding, over pounding waves, harnessing this wind that is whipping through..
And I smiled..a huge heart smile..
Because I have a choice..to enjoy this moment or to rail against it..I choose to enjoy it..exactly as it is presented to me..gale force winds and all..
Inner peace in the midst of a storm.
Thank you for reading along today! Please click the following link to read the other RAOKA entries..awesome inspiration!
And..I suck at surprises so…June 2nd I will be hosting Jan Lundy in this space with a fabulous giveaway..I am thrilled!!!
In the interest of transparency..to complete this essay I did pay my children $20 so that I may finish this piece..*grin* if buying equanimity worked, I’d pay it..I do understand the importance of removing external that is threatening your inner peace..so I temporarily removed them.
However, in life, inner peace is moment by moment; not to be bought, sought after, pursued.. but rather to be allowed for..