Welcome to my peace filled space. Thank you for choosing to share energy here!
As I write these words, my children are on an adventure. Without me. They are ready to enjoy experiences without me hovering over them, organizing the experience, protecting them from external harm.
May I share this with you? This freedom was not my idea. At all. This freedom was suggested to me by a trusted friend whom I love dearly: “Why don’t you let your children try experience A without you?” Right. My internal reply was not at all nice. Fear. Which means my friend was on the right track. Absolutely.
Having recently gone through an internal transformation, I am committed to honoring transparency in all of my relationships. Having just read a beautiful book on relationships \”Kindred Spirit\ this thought surfaces:
Lean into discomfort because it will lead you past your fear to a place of love you have yet to experience!
so I begin to lean into, not bolt from!
I am responsible for my choices; when relating with you if you want to bolt, go ahead, but I’ve double dog dared myself to sit here and lean:)
We (meaning I) tend to walk away the moment discomfort appears. I prefer butterflies and glitter not vomit and mess. Truly. I get enough vomit and mess at work, thank you very much!
May you examine this with me for a minute? What I have just said is I tend to love you unconditionally, but to relate conditionally..you give me butterflies and glitter (and throw in a sunset or the moon) and I am there..but suggest to me something that makes me squirm and I am so not there you don’t even know I’ve left.
Guess what? Once I recognize a thought pattern that no longer serves me/is a block to abundance…I may release it..this very moment. Released! So go ahead make a mess..and I will suggest we clean it together…*grin*
Here is my friend suggesting something to make me squirm..big time..(by the way, how many friends actually risk comfort to suggest tools for growth?) so I decide to try something new and sit in discomfort. Squirm. Don’t love it, but not so bad..as I move through my day the idea grows on me..so I speak with my children who are *elated* to try this experience without me. Elated! (People pleaser that I am, elated is a shoo-in!). After a few days, my discomfort disappears and I begin to send gratitude to my friend for suggesting the idea. (Went from a not nice internal reply…to sending gratitude–yes, love transforms the moment when I allow it to!).
May I take this a step further with you? Thank you for humoring me..knowing we are in this together allows me to explore new and different.
My belief: All that I See is a reflection to me and of me. New and different: My friend’s request at surface level was about my children..but I See now, it is also how we relate to each other. When we see a loved one grow, we celebrate that, yes? (I do!), yet sometimes even as we celebrate, we cling..Please only grow this far so we may still relate..not that far because where is the room for me? I love you *here* but loving you *there* may be a stretch for me. And so on…
My friend was saying, may you please love me enough to allow me the room to pursue this experience without you. Oh, yes…I will.
I begin to feel discomfort again. Because I See even past that. To my own inner core. My friend is *me* saying to me (as I am embarking upon a new experience that allows me to grow on all levels, and puts physical distance between my self and this city) Joy: may you please love me enough to allow me the room to pursue this experience without you?
When I take *me* out of it, even in my own experience..I am allowing Spirit/Love/Divine..(insert your own word here)..to guide me through this experience. I am allowing the Oneness I believe in to radiate through me, to be *me* because *I* am not there.
As an aside..as I said above, sometimes, yes sometimes…rather than squirm, I give up!..I’ve walked away from some potentially amazing experiences.. and now I’m learning the significance of embracing nomaddawhat .
So, I thank you for allowing me the space to explore this with you..and I wonder how do you Feel as you read this?