My heart has a story to share with you. May it inspire you to love fully..and to accept all that the Universe/God..places into your life..As you read, please remember..
You are loved beyond measure, exactly as you are, in this exact moment you are in. You do not have to do anything to earn this love..you only have to open your heart to experience it..
My boat is the place many of my friends and neighbors come to when they would like to experience peace, joy, love, laughter, and/or home cooked food. The energy that my children and I share magnifies with visitors..we play off their energy, and allow it to light our space… We love to share with those who wish to experience our little oasis… Often people just pop in to visit and the unexpectedness adds to the pleasure..
On this particular afternoon, though, I didn’t feel as if I had abundance of time, energy, resources.. The details of our day had bogged down my usually soaring heart. I was caught in what-if’s..how shall this work..why..far too much “to do” rather than the down time “to be”. I allow my days to be guided by natural unfolding, so when external impedes upon that (as it tends to do on Earth), I feel a bit stressed until I make time to negate the external..
A friend called and said they had an amazing experience and would be to the boat soon to share it. I love when my friends glow..makes my heart happy..and this friend knew their radiance would spark my own..
My heart said oh yes, please..my mind said are you kidding? There is laundry, chores, homework, rest..
So I opened my heart a bit…
And my friend radiated..plus very much enjoyed the pizza, the calm on the boat..the elements of boat life..magnified that glow…which made my heart smile..What did I do “extra?” Nothing, just opened my heart and shared what I had..which resulted in laughter, fun, joy…
I walked my friend out. When we got to the car, my friend turned to me and most unexpectedly handed me:…”The Gift”…
Oh, “The Gift” that my heart has whispered about for years..I had an idea what it would look like..but I truly had no idea for here it was..in the palm of my hand..the most delicate, precious, glistening, gorgeous, spectacular…Gift…The exact one I ‘wanted’..
My reaction will surprise you..My immediate reaction was awe..gratitude…pure bliss..
Maybe for one second..and my friend smiled broadly because surely it is a pleasure to give to one you love “the Gift” they have desired..and to give it unexpectedly..
But, then..oh shoot then…
Fear allowed me to fumble ..I thought about: this gift is far too delicate, too precious, too perfect..what if I drop it, break it, can’t take care of it, misuse it…what if it’s stolen…what if I forget about it and allow it to get dusty..what if I misplace it..
And then…doubt flooded in..I don’t deserve this..what have I done that is grand enough to receive ‘the gift’…who am I to hold something this beauty filled, just one girl..think of the mistakes I’ve made, the times I compromised or closed my heart or didn’t help..man..who am I???
And my friend’s smile faded a bit as fear and doubt clouded my own heart smile..I managed a weak thank you..then turned and left..
And I held this gift with my mixed emotions of complete gratitude and utter fear. Tears flooded my eyes, I wanted to throw up, I could barely make it back to the boat..
I looked to the night sky..a clear night sky with a blanket of glistening stars..I whispered thank you..through my tears..I thought of all who truly loved me who would help me to treasure this gift..who would celebrate with me..who would teach me, who would support me..*thank you*…
I needed to breath and to gather myself so that my children would celebrate this gift with me..rather than be confused by my tears and resistance..
Am I the only one who gets “the gift” then refuses it, deflects it, what kind of person am I?..man I suck..And look what I did to my friend..hey wait I didn’t ask my friend for it..who is my friend to surprise me with such magnitude…see fear and doubt..so I best embrace fear and doubt so I may embrace love..fold it all into my being..
I walked and there was the pool, lit from underneath by the night lights..so I dipped my toe in the water, felt warm in the chilly night air..I’ve always wanted to swim under the stars..so why not?? A very chilly night, but the pool beckoned..and my Being loves water, night, stars..so let’s relax my Being..
I jumped in..very cool on my skin..let my tears and the water mix..who am I to refuse the very gift I’ve asked for, prayed for..who am I to receive it????
Began laps..furious, adrenaline filled laps..strong strokes, hard kicks..fast furious laps..again and again and again..so all thought was pushed out of my mind..all I could feel was the coolness of the water..until my body heat took over..Got out, jumped back in..more laps..less furious, more grace filled strokes..thank you for my body, thank you for this water, thank you for this star lit night..thank you…
Gratitude filled my heart and guided my strokes..slower now, more peace filled..thank you for the trees, thank you for my children, thank you for this night..okay..thank you for this beauty filled gift..thank you for heart smiles..thank you..]
I love you..who? you
You are loved beyond measure..exactly as you are..worthy of Divine..you *are* Divine..right here in this moment..I love you..God, the Universe..the stars..you…
I decided to float on my back and praise the stars..Stretched luxuriously..hands gently gliding through the water above my head for a grand body stretch, thank you for this body..resting comfortable, safe, peacefully in this water..thank you for the sky, the moon, the stars..this life..my life..
This gift is too glorious for me..but you’ve decided to present me with it..so please God please show me how to accept and revel in it, enjoy it , bless it, celebrate it, be so very happy for all it will bring to me life, allow me to create blessed with it…Will enrich my life in ways I cannot imagine right now..May you show me who shall support me in it..May you show me how to best use it? May you guide me please?
I saw a shooting star from beginning to end..the bright star..a small trail. an explosion of light…
Oh yes…Thank you God, thank you Universe..thank you for “The Gift”..
In the wee hours of the morning, I logged on to the computer for inspiration..and a friend ‘happened’ to be on Skype..and sent me an angel kiss..
I got it God..I am never alone, even if I think I am…I am surrounded by Love and Light..
All I have to do is open my heart to it…..
I shall treasure “the Gift”..
Thank you for trusting me with it..