Wednesday Wisdom: The Power and Magic of Words

Hello.  Welcome! 

The energy on my site has been amazing and inspirational to me–thank you!  I greatly appreciate everything that is shared here!

Today I am *very excited* to open my space to Peggy Nolan…Peggy is someone who came along beside me when I first began my blogging venture last year.  I was drawn in by the fact that our ‘stories’ were similar yet Peggy is steps ahead of me and soaring..She uses humor, genuine love, truth, kindness in her interactions with people, she has taken her past and used it to motivate her to touch the moon while serving others.  Peggy has a zest for life, is creative on so many levels, shares so openly…

I had been in an abusive relationship and away from it now two years.  I have been thriving…Someone I love has recently said they can no longer be a part of my life because my vibration level is too high and it’s too much for them to ‘keep up’.  I don’t ask anyone to ‘keep up’ but I do openly celebrate my joy…I actually considered toning it down a bit so that this person would remain comfortable enough to continue interacting.  Then, I reread the book “The Four Agreements”.  Two years ago I promised myself that I am worthy and deserving of magical and that I would honor and respect that within my life.  My word to myself.  Words I am pleased to continue to honor today…

If you are not familiar with the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, I highly suggest you read it..It will be as life changing as you allow it to be.  The author lists four agreements that could serve as a foundation for your life:

  • Be impeccable with your word.
  • Don’t take anything personally.
  • Don’t make assumptions.
  • Always do your best.

Peggy teaches a “Four Agreements” class, so I asked her to share with us her insight on the first principle: be impeccable with your word.  Peggy graciously accepted…so, please welcome Peggy, settle in and allow her words to touch your heart..

By the way, I shared the above personal anecdote with you, so that you understand exactly how God and the Universe work if you allow your heart to remain open.  When you read Peggy’s words, you will see exactly how timely her message was for me personally….from a person I trust and respect to remind me to hold my truths dear..She had no idea what I was mulling over when she wrote this….

The Power and Magic of Words

By Peggy Nolan, MA, RYT (500)

“I need to be with someone less powerful.” His words cut through me like the frigid air of a New England winter. His dark words took up residence inside my head. What did he mean, “Someone less powerful?” Surely I was not a powerful person. I had spent nineteen years carefully crafting an artificial life where I was “less than” my first husband.

I stifled myself. I became small so he could feel bigger and better about himself. I dimmed my light so he could shine bright.

I learned early in my first marriage that I wasn’t supposed to make more money, be more creative, get promoted sooner, or be more successful than him. I had to squash my inherent desire to become a better me. No matter how I tried to dim my light, my light shined on…even if it shined a little bit sideways. No matter what success or achievement I reached, my first husband found ways to weave black magic with his words.

“You’re not that good anyway…”

“You get tunnel vision…”

“You always have a plan…”

“No matter how hard I try, I can never bring you down…”

And the worst he’d say to me (because he intensely disliked my father) “You are your father’s daughter.”

My first husband used his words as weapons of mass destruction. He used them to divide, separate, and create confusion. He used his words to interject fear, self-judgment, and pain. Until I found Don Miguel Ruiz’ book, “The Four Agreements,” I didn’t know what or why he did what he did. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I didn’t fully understand the power and impact we have with our words until this transformational book found me. Ironically or divinely, it appeared in my life just as my first marriage ended in divorce.

The first agreement, to be impeccable with your word, broke wide open the false reality that I created. Not only was my first husband using his words as black magic but I believed those words and created more of that same toxic black magic within me and it oozed into every aspect of my life.

Ruiz states, “The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. The seeds are opinions, ideas, and concepts. You plant a seed, a thought, and it GROWS! The word is like a seed and the human mind is so fertile. The only problem is that too often it is fertile for the seeds of fear.”

My first husband preyed on my fear based thoughts. He stalked my self-doubt. He encouraged my own inner judge and jury. Together, we agreed to eat each other’s toxicity. I agreed to the pain and suffering he dished out on a frequent basis. After all, he was just using his words in a similar fashion as his parents, my parents, and their parents before them. Well intentioned adults and teachers who simply passed down the dream of the planet as it had been passed down to them.

When I first read “The Four Agreements” in December 2002, I learned that to be impeccable with my word was to be without sin. Anything I think, say, or do against myself is a sin. When I am impeccable with my word I do not use my thoughts, words or actions against myself or others. Nor do I take personally (the second agreement) the words others say about me.

While my first husband rejected me for “someone less powerful,” I learned that self-rejection is the biggest sin of all. To be less than who I am so he could think himself more was a clear rejection of what my Creator intended for me.

Our words are so very powerful. They can be used to create and they can be used to destroy. They create our reality and our dream. Over time and with practice, I changed the words I not only allowed others to misuse against me but I misused as well.

“You need to be less powerful” became “I am fearfully and powerfully made.” I also adopted my Aunt Cal’s gentle reminder that I came from a long line of powerful Scottish women.

The snide “You have tunnel vision” became “I complete what I start.”

The disdainful “You are your father’s daughter” became “damn straight I am!” I am proud to be my father’s daughter because my father is a loving, kind, funny, and brilliant human being.

Now that I know better about how my words create my reality, it is my responsibility to teach this to my children, to you and to keep teaching myself. In the margins of page 35, I wrote “What spell am I casting with my words?” I pay attention to my internal dialogue and the words I chose to think and say about myself. I pay attention to the words I say to others and the words I write. I’m mindful of the spell I’m casting for my dream, for the dreams of others, and ultimately for the Heaven on Earth I’m creating for myself and my family.

I ask you this – what spell are you casting with your words?

About Peggy: Peggy Nolan loves teaching others how to stand in their power and expand their wholeness of mind, body, and spirit. Peggy is a Wife, Mother, Stepmother, Grandmother, Writer; Radio Show Host, Certified Yoga Teacher, Thai Kickboxing Martial Artist, and Self-Care Coach. Stubbornly optimistic, she values integrity and commitment to excellence. Peggy lives in Derry, NH with her husband, Richard. You can check out her next “Change Your Agreements; Change Your World workshops to attend either in person or online at http://infiniteyogaandreiki.com.

Thank you Peggy…*you* are a gem…

Thank *you* dear readers for being here today..

Much peace,

Joy

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  1. #1 by Gilbert on September 1, 2010 - 4:48 am

    Mindfulness, how I savor the practice of the word in all it’s forms and uses. Thank you for this post.

    • #2 by Peggy on September 1, 2010 - 1:15 pm

      Dear Gilbert,

      Thank you for reading! Mindfulness is a beautiful thing!

      Peggy

  2. #3 by Kelly on September 1, 2010 - 12:10 pm

    Thank you. This post really hit home. I am happy to say that I have come a long way too when it comes to believing in myself again after my ex-husband tried to extinguish my light. He still uses his words to try and punish me and create turmoil with our children. The great thing is I react so very differently to it than I used to and realize that it is his problem, not mine. Reading blogs like Joy’s has aided me tremendously in finding the way to be true to myself.

    • #4 by Peggy on September 1, 2010 - 1:18 pm

      Dear Kelly,

      I am so happy that you have found your way out of black magic! When we recognize someone’s issues as their issues, it allows us the freedom to own only our issues. It’s like losing 200 pounds in one thought!!

      Isn’t Joy’s blog a joy? 🙂

      Peggy

  3. #5 by Peggy on September 1, 2010 - 2:39 pm

    Dear Joy – thank you so much for sharing my article with your readers!! You are a blessing and a true joy!!

  4. #6 by Talon on September 1, 2010 - 7:10 pm

    Hi, Joy and lovely to meet you, Peggy.

    Thank you so much for sharing so much truth and wisdom. Words are powerful and our inner dialogue can be so detrimental. I love that you honor yourself and others with the words you choose.

    You and Joy are both just amazing beautiful women who are completely inspiring.

    • #7 by Peggy on September 1, 2010 - 11:39 pm

      Dear Talon,

      So lovely to meet you here! Our words are so powerful! And these days, mine are meant to encourage, uplift, and share joy and love!

      Thanks for being here!
      Peggy

  5. #8 by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord on September 1, 2010 - 8:46 pm

    Peggy, I can’t imagine you ever being with anyone who would diminish your inner light. You are so bright, lovely and inspirational! Then again, you wouldn’t be who you are right now had those other less-than-ideal moments not occurred. So I give thanks for all of it, but more so that our paths crossed last year when they did.

    Yes, our words are our wands and I have to tell you that I can hardly be in the room with anyone who speaks in a limiting or negative manner! It practically makes my skin crawl. Every so often I catch myself thinking of what’s NOT good in a situation, rather than growing the good, as Joy has reinforced in me. But it’s so rare, and for that I’m grateful.

    Most days, I cast spells of beauty, love, possibility and honoring the divine in everyone. And while “most” is not “all,” I like to focus on what’s right. (wink!)

    Love to both of you beautiful ladies!

    • #9 by Peggy on September 1, 2010 - 11:42 pm

      Oh believe me Megan, he tried. He tried to extinguish my light – even he said, “No matter how hard I try, I can’t bring you down.” There’s a good reason why we’re not married anymore 🙂 Falling awake was the best thing that happened to me!

      So glad we know each other and are friends!!

      xo
      Peggy

  6. #10 by Tony Single on September 2, 2010 - 12:45 pm

    Yes, mindfulness. That’s the ticket! 🙂

  7. #11 by Lisa @ Practically Intuitive on September 2, 2010 - 6:43 pm

    They are all teachers, yes? Showing us our work. 🙂

    (I choose to look at it that way so I don’t get mad and want to slug them all!)

    Very nice article, Peggy. I look forward to reading more of what you’ve written.

    And Joy – my coach says that you must always keep moving and if someone cannot keep up, it’s neither your fault nor theirs. It just is but you cannot let it slow you down. (I was QUEEN of sitting in the road waiting and lowering my vibration hoping they’d catch up. No more.)

    Have a wonderful Thursday!

    • #12 by Peggy on September 3, 2010 - 1:01 pm

      Dear Lisa,

      There’s this great quote that I’ll never forget the gist of…even if you are sitting on the right track, you still get hit by the train…I used to wait for others to catch up, too. Not anymore. I travel at my pace and I respect and honor how others travel (or sit…!)

      Love,
      Peggy

  8. #13 by Keith Davis on September 5, 2010 - 9:42 am

    Hi Joy and Peggy
    When you talk about the power and magic of words, with me, you are preaching to the converted.
    I love the quote…

    “If the truth were self evident… there would be no need for rhetoric.”

    Sometimes we not only have to say something, but we have to say it in the most powerful way possible.

    I spend ages on some speeches adding and changing words.
    But when you get it right… it makes such a difference.

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