“Words Will Break Our Hearts”….

Thank you for stopping in today! 

I’m going to interrupt my regular posting schedule.

It is my heartfelt wish that after you read this, you think about– and perhaps even give praise for– all of the people in your life that you love, and all that is beauty filled and peace filled within your own garden:)

The golden rule of our garden: if you physically want to visit my children and I and interact with us in our garden…you must be peace filled…

There is much to enjoy in our garden..and we will gladly share anything you wish with you while you visit..we *love you* and want you to come play with us in the land of butterflies and glitter…We want you to laugh, experience beauty, watch your dreams come true, have delicious snacks, allow your heart to open to the magic in our world…For truly it is *magical*…

Peace filled means that you choose to check drama, chaos, unkind words, poisonous arrows, and any other weapon you may carry….at the door to our garden..We realize that some visitors have those things, we request that you not carry them with you while you visit… 

Peace filled means that under no circumstances shall you hurt the children in any way shape or form..guards will escort you out and you shall no longer have access to the lovely Angels that they are…One would then reason if you no longer have access to the children because you have hurt them, then you have extremely limited access to the garden because that is their primary play area..There is no excuse ever for hurting a child…

Peace filled means that you may be angry, grumpy, having a bad day, sad, confused, hurt, disappointed, disgruntled..all understandable..but that you are able to put those emotions aside to enjoy the experience of our garden…You may have a tantrum, a fit, a whatever you wish..but that disturbs the precious balance in our garden, so we ask when you are done with all of that you may visit…

Peace filled means that you may feel insecure, worried, fear, full of doubt, uncertain..you may express those concerns in a mature manner and we shall communicate about whatever you wish as long as the words you use are kind and words you would say to your mother or to anyone in your community…

If the behavior you exhibit and words you use while you are visiting us…are words and behaviors you would not use with the general public (or your mother) because you would be embarrassed or ashamed then please do not use them with us..

If you ask me to guide you to peace, then please do not rage at me when I guide you.  If you ask others to guide you to peace then please tell them the Truth so that they may guide you appropriately.  You already know the Answer anyway: Peace..it’s internal, it’s always there in abundance, waiting for you to choose it…

When you are less than peace filled I still love you very much,  my heart hurts for you because you feel enough pain to be less than peace filled, and I very much want to “play” with you..but I cannot allow less than peace filled in my garden..I choose to withdraw my energy and ask you to please center and return when you are calm..

While you are in our garden, we honor all of these in our interactions with you; and we shall share generously–you shall be treated with love, care, joy, peace, respect…

I choose to preserve the peace in our garden because it is our place of refuge, of magic, of love, of joy…I want to share that with you because it is wondrous and you *should* experience wondrous in your life…

To those who do choose peace, we thank you, it is our pleasure to host you, and we hope your heart soars as you revel in the wonder and beauty of our butterfly and glitter land…

When you are less than peace filled, it directly affects me.  I do have abundant resources to heal, but foremost I am human.  I do not have a protective shield.  I cannot automatically deflect negative.  When you lash out in rage, anger, fear..it squashes my spirit. I want to shrink.  For that moment, I wish my Light wasn’t so bright so you wouldn’t be so mad.  I want to cry.  I want to throw up.  For that moment, I wish I didn’t have a beautiful garden so you wouldn’t be so mad with me for having it.  I wish I knew how to make you peace filled, but I cannot, it is up to you.   I can only stand by helplessly watching you destroy something so very precious to me.   I will rebuild the area to more spectacular.  But, I feel it’s senseless when the garden is such a perfect place to play..and peace is a choice…

Yes, I have an open heart. I am not a victim.  If you are in the garden,  I have chosen to allow you access.  It is my choice to stand in Faith, Truth, Peace…and it is my choice to withdraw energy and deny access to our garden until you can stand in them as well…Perhaps you won’t choose peace….then, as Prince sings in “Purple Rain”…it *is* ‘such a shame our friendship had to end’…

This is for you to consider then…

From Robert Fulghum’s “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” (pg 96-97):

“In the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific some villagers practice a unique form of logging.  If a tree is too large to be felled with an ax, the natives cut it down by yelling at it.  (Can’t lay my hands on the article, but I swear I read it).  Woodsmen with special powers creep up on a tree just at dawn and suddenly scream at it at the top of their lungs.  They continue this for thirty days.  The tree dies and falls over. The theory is that the hollering kills the spirit of the tree.  According to the villagers, it always works.

Ah, those poor naive innocents.  Such quaintly charming habits of the jungle.  Screaming at trees, indeed. How primitive.  Too bad they don’t have the advantages of modern technology and the scientific mind.

Me?  I yell at my wife.  And yell at the telephone and the lawn mower.  And yell at the TV and the newspaper and my children.  I’ve even been known to shake my fist and yell at the sky at times.

Man next door yells at his car a lot.  And this summer I heard him yell at a stepladder for most of an afternoon.  We modern, urban, educated folks yell at traffic and umpires and bills and banks and machines–especially machines.  Machines and relatives get most of the yelling. But never trees.

Don’t know what good it does.  Machines and things just sit there. Even kicking doesn’t always help.  As for people, well, the Solomon Islanders may have a point. Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them.

Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts….”

Much peace,




  1. #1 by Tess The Bold Life on July 25, 2010 - 1:04 pm

    Hi Joy,
    I’ve read this as well and love Robert’s books.

    I actually had a friend ask me to mentor her a few years ago. She didn’t like my guidance. I guess it’s the “be careful what you ask for” thing. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, honesty and openness with us. Your angels are blessed to have you as a mom. I heart you!

  2. #2 by Angela Artemis on July 25, 2010 - 2:05 pm

    Hi Joy,
    What a wonderful post! We can cut down other people and trees, I guess, with our angry vibes. I choose to be calm and even tempered. I hope by this time in my life I’ve learned to not allow my buttons to be pushed that much, so that my emotions will not get all stirred up.

  3. #3 by The Exception on July 25, 2010 - 3:46 pm

    We often forget the power of the spoken word – the force that it carries in tone and in content. The ability to love and release and elect not to have drama… it is about being able to mean “I love you” regardless of what you do and who you are and yet, I choose not to be around you for me and the peace I choose for my life.
    Have a wonderful Sunday Joy.

  4. #4 by Aurora on July 25, 2010 - 9:16 pm

    What wonderfully healthy, loving boundaries that reflect self-esteem.
    Every time I come here, I learn and am touched by your *Light*.
    Thank you.

  5. #5 by Tony Single on July 25, 2010 - 10:20 pm

    Joy, it would be a pleasure to visit with you any time, and I would certainly make sure to mind your boundaries which are fair and equitable. Have a great day! 🙂

  6. #6 by Evita on July 25, 2010 - 11:21 pm

    Hi Joy

    This was a heartfelt post and resonated with me deeply. I love what you said about perhaps being all sorts of emotions, but knowing or being willing to put those aside.

    Oh Joy, I feel the deeper message in this post so much! I so often wonder, why, why do we insist on using words to hurt each other in such various ways. I am blessed that in my physical life this barely exists, but I see it sometimes on the internet.

    I love your description of your garden. I want to be there too. I am there. I will always lovingly visit with a peaceful heart, for I know the gift in that not only to others, but most importantly to myself. I am choosing the highest version of love for myself.

    You know someone very close once was very disturbed that I said that family is not number one, they asked – then what is? I said internal peace. Because if we have that, then we can make the whole world our family.

  7. #7 by Wilma Ham on July 26, 2010 - 6:18 am

    Joy, how beautiful to honor your garden, yourself and your children this way.
    How beautiful indeed and what a clarity speaks in these words.
    Your haven is safe and therefore safe for that visitor as well as you prevent damage they might not be able to easily undo or forgive themselves for.
    This is a worthwhile interruption, that is love although it might not be seen that way.
    Much peace and love to you, Wilma

    • #8 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on July 26, 2010 - 7:59 am

      This post was very heartfelt, so thank you for your loving support and responses!

      Robert’s books are so easy to read, yet chock full of wisdom..I love them!
      I’m wondering if your friendship “survived” the mentoring…
      Each day I am blessed in myriad ways in my role as mother of my children…
      Thank you for your encouragement and support!

      Thank you!
      I like your even tempered approach…When I share with others, I choose to share golden so that they may soar..anger isn’t even a part of my life..I’ve seen first hand how words may break a spirit and it makes me incredibly sad when others use words as weapons..

      The Exception,
      Thank you!
      I’ve read your comment several times..I think you said exactly what I meant to convey only you said it far more succinctly and better:)

      Thank you!
      When I create in this spot, I create with golden energy..I would like for this to be a peace filled, Light filled spot to visit, so I’m glad you feel that way…

      Hi Tony,
      Fair and equitable…thank you! It took me a lifetime to set these boundaries..peace is essential to me and I’m learning how to preserve it within my ‘garden’..You and Cass have an open invitation…

      Hi Evita,
      Thank you!
      My heart overflows with joy at your words..
      To me peace is the essential ingredient..when I am peace filled I am completely open to the Abundance in the Universe..less than peace filled is a barrier to All.
      If one has enough talent with words to use them as a poisonous arrow, one could instead choose to hold the poison and use the gift of words to build people up…In my experience, people use words as weapons because they do not leave incriminating physical marks..no one has to “know” that they practice in such a way…you can pass yourself off as a gentle kind soul in public while in private you rage…
      I feel your presence in my garden..perhaps in a dragonfly sort of way *grin* and I’m very glad for that:)

      Hi Wilma
      Thank you!
      Unfortunately, the visitor who is not peace filled does not feel protected by my boundaries, feels rather excluded…which then invokes fear and rage..
      As I shared with Tony, it has taken me a lifetime to establish these boundaries, so I am crossing a threshold by preserving the peace in my garden..my basecamp as you say..*thank you* for inspiring me to continue to soar…

      Much peace,

  8. #9 by Gina on July 26, 2010 - 5:03 pm

    I have personally been in that garden. I have also been on the edge of the valley, and down in the valley. I have laughed and cried and a million things in between in the garden, on the ledge and in the valley. I know that I have made the choice to be with the person who welcomes me there with the open heart, mind and my big mouth 😉 and this author/ garden tender is just that, tender, loving, giving, open and it’s an honor to be a part of life like this. Our children are like angels together and we, sisters til the end of time, “infinity and beyond”… I will never doubt this beautiful friendship for one little second of my being, and am eternally grateful for the universe providing me, so many years ago, with my soul sister.

  9. #10 by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord on July 27, 2010 - 4:16 pm

    All I can say is “wow.”
    So very well put. Gentle, yet with strength.
    You are very gifted, my friend… And again I say wow.

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