Monday Blessing: Uniqueness…

The winner of Wednesday\’s Book Raffle is Evita…thank you to all who commented and participated in such a special post!!! 


“Today you are You,

That is Truer than true.

There is no one alive

Who is Youer than You”.  -Dr Seuss..

I recently won a Superpower coaching session from Karl at Work Happy Now.  To be honest, I thought that Tess rigged the contest because she is always gently urging me to use my talents in bigger ways; but it was actually a gift from the Universe and Karl…..

Karl was very organized–we had a limited amount of time, so he emailed me a list of questions to think about so that I would be prepped and ready for our session.  I had an easy time answering the questions, and I also tried to have an open mind about what he would prompt me to do.  I truly thought he would guide me toward leaving my present full time job at the hospital to embrace life coaching and motivational speaking full time.  I tried to release that expectation and attend the session with an open mind.  On the day of my session, I was in the midst of bronchitis settling in..I felt miserable and had full-blown laryngitis–barely able to push enough air over my vocal chords to make a sound…My illness related to other areas of my life and I was not about to let laryngitis deter me from my motivation to move forward in my life…I am growing a dream and I am not going to let earthly constraints be a barrier..

So, when Karl called, I answered…I wanted to be in a peaceful spot, so I walked to the park next to my boat, sat propped up next to a tree trunk to soak up the energy from the tree, in a position to look out as the sun was setting over the harbor.  I feel if I am to do ‘hard work’ I will facilitate it in the best way possible..Energy from the tree and the setting sun, while sitting in the harbor that I love…good setting…I digress–back to Karl..I found that he was pleasant, an active listener in that he heard my words but also heard behind my words as well.  I think he was surprised I was going to continue with the session while ill, but truly if there was any fear surrounding potential for growth I wanted to work through it, so he gamely went ahead with the session.  He didn’t ask me to let go of one job to embrace another, he asked me to consider growing my new job to a certain level then letting go.  He asked me to use my creativity to consider other opportunities within this new field.  He asked poignant questions, he listened….Then..Karl asked me to take it beyond ordinary to extraordinary…  

Now Karl is reading this, thinking: “Did I ask that last part??”  No, Karl not in those words. What Karl asked me directly was: “What makes you unique? *That* is what you need to focus on”…then our time was up, and our session was over…..

My entire life I have been told to please be ordinary. Told by whom?  My immediate family, my friends, my co-workers, my peers, for most of my life not one person had ever said grow what is unique… If my Light shined, if I embraced a moment other’s shied away from, if I was enthusiastic, exuberant, energetic, joy filled…I was asked to dim it, calm it down, lessen my do anything but stand out…Now here I am in this stage of life embracing my Light, using it to heal…and Karl basically said that’s great, now take what is unique about you and grow that..stand out in your own special way…Yep, fear came in…loud and clear..if I allow myself to be extraordinary I will be set farther apart from most, more than I am now.  I may “lose everything” (hey, fear isn’t rational).  I may lose even more loved ones because no one will understand…why why why does *that* have to be the question…

Because I am growing a dream.  And growing a dream is easy work once I have cleared the appropriate space and opened my heart far enough.  This question was from the Universe to get me to *that place*..that place where I am ready.  So, I took myself to one of my favorite metaphysical stores because quite frankly they seem to ‘understand me’ there.  The cashier was new and she asked what modality I worked within.  I told her I am a healer, a Light worker.  *That* is the first time I have ever spoken those words out loud.  Written them many times, allowed Energy to heal many times….never spoke those words out loud…And guess what?  I felt the clouds part, fireworks explode, sun grow brighter, moonbeams touch my head…I felt the shift in the Universe that happens when one Being finally acknowledges who they are and why they are placed on Earth..Does that make the path easier?  Not necessarily, but it makes my heart open farthest. 

*Thank you* Karl–your skills are amazing–I cannot put words to what you have done for me..more than a step forward in a career, I am embracing my uniqueness, and *that* is changing my life in gloriously magnificent ways… Please check out Karl’s site and sign up for his newsletter..he can do for you what you allow him to you how to make your current work situation more joy filled or help you step forward in growing your career path…And this, well, this next part is dedicated to you, Karl, and to you my friends, mentors, Angels who have believed in, encouraged, inspired me to Embrace my Light and be who I was created to be…My heart overflows and tears stream down my face as I write..I am absolutely love filled and thankful more than I can express….

And as I write, someone I trust very much– a person who tells the world that they love me….. has just deleted their subscription to my blog.  There is truth within my fear then…I will lose people who say they love me…but I face that fear head on as I write and share anyway…

What makes *me* “Joy Christin Alyce Detor Holland’ a person…as a Light a life coach… :

“The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.  I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.  I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.  I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.  I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.  I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even if it’s not pretty, every day and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.  I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. 

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here.  I want to know if you will stand in the middle of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.  I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

Many of you are familiar with this piece of work. Oriah has written a book in which each chapter is a study based upon a verse of the above poem.  I give this book to my clients in our first session.  I will guide you in life because I love you, or I will coach you as my client, if you may tell me from your heart what is it you wish to be, know, do….  

Why am I unique?  Because this poem is my life, how I interact Being to Being.  I do not see you as you are presented in front of me.  I do not often notice your physical self–after we have been together I usually cannot describe what did you wear, what color are your shoes..but I can say if there was a light in your eyes, if your smile was genuine and large, if there is an ease about you.  So, the physical imperfections that seem to hold you back, are not even present to me….

When you speak with me I hear your words sure, but I listen to your heart whispers.  If your heart is closed it is a faint whisper begging to be heard, if your heart is open it is a beauty filled song.  I listen.. So your state of mind/emotions are not present to me…I connect with and hear your heart..if you have never experienced that it is an awe-some validating experience; rarely is a heart whisper heard let alone acknowledged….

I don’t ask you about your past or who you used to be…I ask you what was good in your day today, what makes your heart sing today, what do you love about yourself today.  Who are you today…I relate with the good that you give me..I release all else. Together, we grow that good.  So, your past history has no bearing on how I relate with you today in this moment…what barriers, wounds, regrets, mistakes weigh you down, are what I have already released about you.  I acknowledge you as you are in this very moment, with the unlimited potential of Being. 

If you present me with your dream, I want you to soar higher than you can imagine, and together we will find a way for you to capture that essence today with what you have this very moment exactly as you are.  I will show you how to step into your dream this very moment… All that you’ve begun then stopped, or hadn’t had the courage yet to try, or tried and ‘failed’ isn’t present to me; you may step into your dream the very second you’ve acknowledged it.

If you present me with a wound, a fear, a pain…I don’t want you to numb it , I want you to feel it, feel the sorrow, the hurt, the depth of which you’ve walked around over under your entire life, but now feel it feel it so you lose the fear surrounding it and the pain loses it power in your life.  Pain sucks but it is doable if it has no power.  I cannot absorb the pain for you, but I can help you to dissolve it.  I don’t notice the pain itself, I notice how far your heart is open…

 What makes me unique?  I may write well, but I truly don’t believe in words written or spoken. I believe in actions.  Don’t tell me who you are or what you are going to do…*show me*..And I give the same to you.  I will show you how to live the above poem because I live it.  Line for line I live it….I reflect to you the best of yourself, even if you cannot see it, because I can feel it I can see it I know it about you.  I reflect to you Love, Light, Peace, Joy, Faith, because that is what I allow in my life, what I choose to grow…And I share with you from overflowing abundance in those areas because when you take it from me flow allows it to be quickly replaced….I have released specific experiences, healed huge wounds….but my history is a beautiful tapestry wrapped around me..and from that I may relate to you from my heart..because I *have been there*…

In closing, my session with Karl was two weeks ago. My writing has since evolved because I chose to write solely from my heart…to use these pages to relate with you as I would in physical life… I allow Spirit to guide my words, Energy to reflect to you what you ‘need’ from what you’ve read so that you may grow within your own life…I have added a joy filled thought of the day…I have added an affirmation/inspiration services page….I am celebrating the opening of new doors…I am reassessing and releasing so that each step forward is with ease…

So, to paraphrase Karl….What is unique about *you*???  Do you celebrate that or hide it away? 

This isn’t about money…This is about life…If there is any way I may help you, please let me know.  And remember…you are perfectly made, exactly as you are, for this exact moment that you are in.  *You* are absolutely enough this moment and every moment following.  *You* Are….

Much peace,



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  1. #1 by Lisa@Practically Intuitive on June 21, 2010 - 3:56 pm

    The moment where you truly claim who you are (in your case and mine as well: a healer, a Lightworker) is the doorway to a HUGE shift! I totally get where you are. TOTALLY. The joy and freedom of your words (from your heart, from Spirit) jump off the page and it’s lovely to see. You’re jumping into the unknown with such courage!

    (Love that poem. I’m so like that. Don’t chit chat with me, tell me (show me) who you really are inside. I want to know that person.)

    This was a stellar post and I’m glad I read it this day.

    • #2 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 22, 2010 - 4:57 am

      Hi Lisa,
      Thank you for stopping in today!
      Thank you for acknowledging, then celebrating, joy and freedom with me! As I claim who I am, I am not claiming *me*, but putting an earthly label on the Love inside of me…As I jump into the unknown fear nibbles at my is beauty filled encouragement such as yours and those of my readers and friends in life…that reminds me of *my faith* and how large how strong how abundant it is..and how much more powerful than fear when I allow it to be:)
      I am so excited to embrace all that I know I shall be learning from your writing and what you share!!!

  2. #3 by Sulwyn on June 21, 2010 - 4:10 pm

    This is such a well-written post. I am currently wrestling with some of the issues you touch on, especially with being “myself” and how that will make me stand out even more from those around me and finding that some really nasty ick from as far back as 15 years ago is percolating up from the depths to snag at me again. I really admire your strength as it comes through your words. You have given me much to think about in this post, and I thank you for being yourself!

    • #4 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 22, 2010 - 2:04 am

      Thank you! I am glad to see you here today..I hope all is well…
      Nasty ick percolating requires lots of sugar,…I think this stage you are in may be filled with wonder and delight as you are exploring the world with this *new* you..your creativity will blossom, your senses will be enlivened..the world is truly your oyster as you discover/rediscover all that you love in it…How fun that may be!!!!
      And, *grin* myself is all I know how to be….

  3. #5 by Tony Single on June 21, 2010 - 11:58 pm

    “The Invitation” was unfamiliar to me, Joy, so thank you for sharing it. So beautifully worded and so true! 🙂

    I’m with you on the uniqueness thing. Often, I’ve found that when people extol uniqueness what they really mean is: “As long as you’re unique like me.” It seems many of us are perhaps more enamoured of our own uniqueness than others’. This is why I try to go out of my way to find other people’s uniqueness, to draw it out into the sunlight with gentle conversations where I do a lot of asking. People are generally surprised that someone would take that kind of care and attention with them. 🙂

    Joy, you are unique whether anyone acknowledges it or not. You know it in your very bones. What a wonderful realisation that is! 🙂

    • #6 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 22, 2010 - 2:00 am

      Hi Tony,
      Thank you for sharing these words!
      I’m glad you enjoyed “The Invitation”…it is a special poem and, as I’ve shared, the book has been life changing for me….
      I love other’s uniqueness–I am fascinated with new and different because I learn so much and my experience then is multi-layered. Like you I try to draw uniqueness out of others. As for myself, my Being is certainly unique–I’ve known that since birth–LOL!!!–but this life is not at all about *me* it’s very much other centered and how can my Light allow yours to shine brighter…

  4. #7 by Chania Girl on June 22, 2010 - 4:48 am

    Joy, beautiful, amazing, unique in all the world, Joy:

    I love you. I am so happy that you are here. I am so happy that I found your blog and that you are in my life — right here with me, in Crete, as I sit and sip a morning cup of tea and listen to the world wake up.

    You have already brought so much light and healing into the world, with or without Karl. Wonderful being that he is, he knew that his time with you was just a matter of drawing your inner wisdom out … and stepping aside to let you bloom and blossom.

    There was power in your words, of saying, “I’m a healer, a Light Worker.” You spoke your truth and now there’s no going back. (Like you would want to? 😉 ) When you are in doubt again (and you will be sometimes … because we all are), just remind yourself, “I am Joy. I am a Light Worker.”

    • #8 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 22, 2010 - 5:02 am

      Hi Carla,
      Your comment is full of much..but I am distracted because my heart says I would absolutely love to be drinking tea in Crete with Carla!! And one day I shall..or if you move before then, I shall in another area of the world….
      Thank you for your love! May you receive much love and light back as you embrace all that is in your life now…
      I spoke my truth, and yes when in moments of fear, I feel as if I would like to go back to comfortable…but there is no heart is soaring, my Being is free to be…I am *here*…so I shall embrace here where I have been placed..with all that is involved in it…
      You, and everyone else who shares love, are all *here* with me..and my heart fills with gratitude for this abundance in my life….

  5. #9 by Wilma Ham on June 22, 2010 - 5:05 am

    OH Joy, declaring who you are. A Healer, a Light Worker. YES!
    You are spot on, we are NOT encouraged to be unique, everything is uniform, school, how we are treated, what we are supposed to like. No wonder we have trouble finding our unique selves.
    BUT when we are NOT declaring who we are, nobody can assist us, nor nature, nor your friends.
    OH Joy, I feel like standing beside you, holding you and declaring I am a co-creator with nature and feeding of each other’s courage.
    I am excited for you and what an amazing community we have.
    Blessings to all of us, we cannot do this on our own but we can do this together.
    Losing a subscriber leaves a vacuum, bless and love them on their way.
    Much love, Wilma.

  6. #10 by Tess The Bold Life on June 22, 2010 - 7:57 pm

    Hi Joy,
    You’re amazing. I love that you sat at a tree while you talked with Karl. It’s so true you are a light worker/healer. And the world is blessed to have you. I wish you the best on your journey today and always. xo Tess

  7. #11 by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord on June 22, 2010 - 8:21 pm

    I love this particular line, and think it’s one of the toughest things for a healer of any age to do: “I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself…” That one line is what has seen me take baby steps toward living my fullest life — my best life. It’s as if I would rather protect another and hurt myself than vice versa, ultimately forgetting that when we hurt ourselves – or are untrue to ourselves – we are being untrue to the world. ONEness in action.

    Joy, I love the idea that you’ve set forth and bring up time and again on your blog: growing the good. To me, that’s your brand. That’s the Joy Holland brand summed up in one line. I don’t know anyone who does it more consistently or easily than you.

    Love & peace to you always,

  8. #12 by Jan Lundy on June 23, 2010 - 12:39 am

    Joy, this is wonderful to read. I am glad that you finally “spoke” your uniqueness and calling. It DOES open up energetic doorways within us, doesn’t it?

    Great question. My own unfolding, claiming, and naming has taken years and has come in phases. It seems I “claim” myself in some new, yet deeper way, every few years. This is my new one. I am a dharma teacher. I have just officially claimed this. I AM. I stepped out into the possibilities and am offering my first Metta weekend retreat for both men and women in the fall. My beloved teacher (Sylvia B, the “Queen of Metta” as far as I am concerned) says go for it. I appreciate her trust in me; it has pushed me to accept myself in this way too.

    There is actual risk for me in doing this, but oh well. I will likely lose my publisher (they are more Christian based) and I will alienate people in my part of the state that are ultra conservative (the majority). On the other hand, the spiritual center that I work out of has embraced me (and it is Catholic/ecumenical) in this role and this “new” public work.

    What blessings come when we continue to embrace the ALL in us! I am glad you are doing so too. Doesn’t it feel good? There is power, magic and boldness in it. (Goethe)

  9. #13 by Hilary on June 23, 2010 - 6:30 am

    Hi Joy .. I am so looking forward to learning more about myself and growing that understanding .. absorbing some of the things that so many of your wonderful commenters and you understand .. I’m in a process and I am progressing ..

    Love your words, and Oriah’s poem .. thank you … the more I read the more I will grasp and bring into my life ..

    Just delighted that Karl’s offer has been so amazing and you’ve benefited so much from him .. despite feeling not brilliant – hope you’re feeling a little easier now .. happy days .. Hilary

    • #14 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 25, 2010 - 4:22 am

      Hi Hilary,
      Thank you!
      Energy is fluid..Life is fluid…we are *all* a process 🙂
      Oriah’s poem is beauty filled, yet for me is a barometer of my authenticity…
      I am very grateful that Karl was placed into my life for a coaching session…what an amazing each experience may be if I allow my heart to remain open to it..

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