A fellow blogger, Abubakar, shared his list of 22 Things I Wish I Had Known Earlier in My Life and then invited each of us to write about things we wish we had known/might have learned the hard way. I have enjoyed reading the wisdom from other blogs, and thought I would share a bit of my own journey in the same way.
I have a confession of sorts..I actually love Miley Cyrus’ song “The Climb”. My children are delighted that I even know who Miley is…here is a snippet of lyrics from her song:
“There’s always gonna be another mountain,
I’m always gonna wanna to make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose…”
And she goes on the describe *the climb*….I won’t share the rest here because truthfully…
There doesn’t have to be a climb, a struggle, a mountain to move.
I will say it again….
There doesn’t have to be a climb, a struggle, a mountain to move…
Honestly, as I reflect back upon my childhood and every stage following, I know that each and every experience was Divinely placed to stitch together my personal tapestry. I would not change anything. To have other knowledge would have changed my path, my essence, myself. But, following along with Abubakar’s 22 things, I have a few “Reflections to my Inner Child” to share with you:
My precious child, as you go about the process of living life, here are a few tips I wish you would incorporate:
You are perfectly made to be exactly who you are as you are in this very moment. You are Loved. You are Worthy and Deserving of abundance and of experiencing each of your heart’s whispers Answered.
Open your heart fully–each and every day–regardless of external circumstances and allow Love to circulate freely. Allow *Divine Love* to wash over you, self love to bathe you, others love to illuminate you. When you close your heart, even a smidgen, you are closing the door on Love. You will find that yes, pain sucks– sucks royally–and our immediate reaction to pain is to close, but I ask you to leave your heart open..to allow Love to touch that pain, to fill those wounded places, to use pain as a tool in growth.
Identify what makes your heart sing, overflow with joy..and then incorporate it into your life. An activity, a color, a song, a food…whatever inspires you to automatically smile when you think of it..*that* is what needs to have abundant space in your life.
Share and receive, unconditionally and generously. Time, energy, resources, Spirit, Love…share with yourself first so that your Energy is pure and overflowing and from that share with others. If you are bitter and resentful, you will share bitter and resentful so release negative before sharing. Please share only what is pure and good from a joy-filled overflowing heart. If you want what you share to be the best, then put in the effort–work hard– to make it the best, for yourself and for others. Include yourself in sharing…be as kind and caring and generous with yourself as you are with others. Just as you share, you shall receive as graciously.
Keep your space clean, allow for fresh air, openness, simplicity, stillness..stretch to expand within that space, revel in that space. When the time is right, that beautiful, fresh, clean space will be full of all that is good. Something wonderful that delights your heart will fill that space. If your space is messy, please don’t criticize yourself–lovingly acknowledge the mess that has accumulated then work on releasing it.
Life isn’t meant to be a struggle, a climb, a swim against the current…life is about sharing energy, golden and pure. Life is about peace, joy, love, faith, creativity. As nature unfolds, so shall your life. If you are struggling, you are not allowing for unfolding. You are not accepting what is as it is, you are deflecting it. *You* are creating the struggle then. So, let the struggle go, let the uphill climb go, let the swim against the current go. Allow your body to be healthy and whole, allow your Spirit to be free, allow your heart to remain open..Allow for, not struggle against. *Revel* in natural beauty, joy, creativity, cycles, stillness. *Find the joy* in each and every step…and if your steps become heavy, find what is weighting you down and release it.
You are beauty filled, joy filled, peace filled..filled with fruits of the Spirit, Energy, golden and pure..but *You* are not the focus of your life..*they* are. Your space in the world matters because your being needs space to exist here, but *You* do not need to matter. Your sole purpose in being placed here is to share energy, plain and simple. You have been given gifts so please make sure to treasure them and find the most purposeful place to share them with others. Your existence here is not about what you may consume, how much you may gather, but about how can you be a conduit for energy to flow most purely and freely among people. When you cling to anything..a person, an object, a thought, anything from nature…you are impeding its growth, hastening its death. Only by loving fully and releasing may you allow for growth. You may enjoy all that is pure and delights your heart but please realize that it is placed in your life for that very moment, not all moments.
In closing, I may not say this often, but I shall as we move forward….You are absolutely precious in all ways. Please allow yourself to experiment, to explore, to create, to make mistakes, to fail, to succeed gloriously, to love deeply, to live fully. I am proud of each and every step you make..I love you exactly as you are…Thank you for Being a beautiful part of me. You are Loved, You are Safe, You are Free…
Love from your older self,
-J-
Along with the theme of this post, I have a book giveaway…The book is “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum. I first heard about it when Lance featured a poem that the book is based on in his Sunday Thought. Please click the link to read the poem. I found a paperback edition of the book at the outdoor book mart that I wrote about last Monday. It is an easy read, full of wisdom in a manner that is witty and palatable. If you would like to be entered in the drawing for this book, please state so in your comment. The winner will be picked in a raffle of names on Friday June 18th at 6pm…and announced on Monday’s post…
Much peace,
Joy
Unfolding Your Path to Joy 
#1 by Abubakar Jamil on June 16, 2010 - 7:28 am
Joy,
Thanks a lot for participating in this series of post. I really appreciate it and found your article to be wonderful. Thanks for writing it. I will link back to it from the page I am creating for this joint effort and will inform you accordingly.
#2 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 17, 2010 - 10:34 pm
Abubakar,
Thank you!
You shared so much in your original post; and now your idea has touched many and impacted lives…all because you chose to share…
Each step we take is matched in tremendous ways….
#3 by Joy Tanksley on June 16, 2010 - 11:32 am
Love you and loved this post, Joy! I could feel my body slowing down, relaxing, and taking deeper breaths as I read. I choose a word-of-the-year this past January and my word was EASE. A lot of people didn’t “get” why I would choose that word, but let me tell you, it has been dramatic in my life. I totally agree with you that life isn’t meant to be a struggle. I’m a woman on a mission (as I know you are) to share this good news! XXOO!
#4 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 17, 2010 - 10:33 pm
Hi Joy,
Thank you!
My word of the year was ’embrace’ and that particular word has completely changed my life..had a picked chocolate my direction may have been much different *grin* What we focus on grows, and you and I have chosen to focus on life changing..ours and others…
Ease…I love it..perhaps that shall be my next year’s focus…
#5 by Evita on June 16, 2010 - 3:40 pm
Oh Joy, YOU are incredible!
My heart is singing, and a huge smile is on my face, as yes – everything you said here is not just such beautiful truth, but it was said in your oh so beautiful way.
Joy, the energy that is coming through you in this site, all the writing that you are doing is just divine. There is no other word for it.
You got it Joy! You got life – and are today one of the brightest examples for others of the beautiful and perfect state that it can be.
And I so agree, no more mountains, or hills or swimming upstream – just being in this amazing space and time, in which our current life unfolds.
#6 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 17, 2010 - 10:31 pm
Evita,
Thank you!
Such Energy in you comment..wow:) my heart is singing– because you are living exactly what you speak of..beginning a new chapter with new space and allowing your life to be guided…unfolding in such a beauty filled manner..such and inspiration to me and to all whom you share with…
*grin*..and there is my smile in return….
#7 by Hilary on June 17, 2010 - 7:21 am
Hi Joy .. those pointers are so true .. and if we can open our hearts as kids preferably and let life’s experiences teach and guide us .. leaving the negatives behind – we can be the person we wish to be .. but it is never to late to learn – and you are guiding me on that path .. Thank you .. Hilary
#8 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 17, 2010 - 10:28 pm
Hi Hilary,
Thank you!
“we can be the person we wish to be..” It is my belief that we already *are* the person we are meant to be…we just need to allow for all that is good to shine through, for our creativity to blossom, for our dreams to flow freely and manifest…And yes, it is all about opening my heart as fully as it can possibly be opened….
#9 by Tess The Bold Life on June 17, 2010 - 11:37 am
Joy, I so agree with Evita and think your writing is amazingly wonderful. I love the way you put each experience was designly placed to stich your own personal tapestry! I had so many deep experiences as a young mother that I thought would put me over the edge and when instead just made for rich and deep colors in my tapestry.
I just swung open my door for a creative life and pure love a little wider today because of your words. Thanks for the precious reminder. You’ll hear my laughter and feel my love ripple out to your shore and the sun will shine a little brighter;)
#10 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 17, 2010 - 10:26 pm
Hi Tess,
Thank you!
When you speak of your journey as a young mother, I think not only of raising children, but as the creator/nurturer of anything..any project, creative endeavor, friendship…we can face a wall in any situation..It all adds to the depth and texture of our personal tapestry.
My heart leaps at the last part of your comment! “I just swung open my door….” yay you!!! *That* is living..we may question, we may ponder, but in the end, we may choose to *live*..and I hear your laughter and feel your love….as you make the choice to stretch just a little more than you normally do…
#11 by Meredith on June 17, 2010 - 5:30 pm
Joy, I know I needed to come here today. I actually had tears in my eyes as I read this. Some really tough things have come my way lately, and my faith has wavered and trembled and felt in danger of crumbling before the onslaught. And yet I know I must hold onto my truth, that life is not a path of struggle, that everything is for the good, that there is nothing standing between me and the Divine, that the whole thing is ultimately about beauty, love, wonder, sharing, and *joy*!
I may need to reread this paragraph a few more times today: “You are perfectly made to be exactly who you are as you are in this very moment. You are Loved. You are Worthy and Deserving of abundance and of experiencing each of your heart’s whispers Answered.” Thank you for this.
#12 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 17, 2010 - 10:21 pm
Hi Meredith,
Thank you for stopping in. I am glad felt compelled to stop by. Your tears are tears of joy because your heart feels heard/validated..
In my own life I focus on all of the good..what I don’t focus on could fill entire pages–however, I’ve learned to release all of that chaos, drama, external… to *live* most fully, authentically.
I hear you Meredith..please hold on to your truth..let it be your life jacket then…through everything. On cloudy nights, I speak to the Moon even if I can’t physically see it because I *Know* it is there. Do the same with your truth..embrace it and hold on to it as you learn to refocus on the good in your life. Your Being *is* Divine, so allow your Light to shine, regardless of external. Joy is right there, accessible each moment…
#13 by Lance on June 17, 2010 - 5:42 pm
Joy,
As I read these words and let them wash over me, know that they are reaching to the depths of my soul.
This is all so beautifully written…all of it. And I’m just really drawn into the closing paragraph to yourself. Joy, this is a beautiful affirmation of LIFE…and as I read that (also thinking about ME)…this particular paragraph just is filled with such goodness.
I’m honored to be here, to read your words, and to feel your presence speak directly to me through these beautiful thoughts.
Much peace,
Lance
#14 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 17, 2010 - 10:16 pm
Hi Lance,
Thank you!
As I wrote, I thought about my process of raising my children, of interacting with my friends…do they *know* all of this?? My heart leaps when I listen to loved ones talk about making choices, or watch as they try something new and different, and as we all enjoy embracing the moment exactly as it is when we are in it together…
I ofen say I am having a love affair with the world..may we all feel such Love…with the world, with ourselves, with each other…
#15 by Wilma Ham on June 18, 2010 - 4:55 am
Hi Joy
I hear your words which speak to MY inner child as well. These words it loves to hear;
“Only by loving fully and releasing may you allow for growth.”
As I just wrote on your guest post on Tess’ blog, ‘releasing’ when I feel grumpy that things do not go my way is a good thing to tell my tantrum throwing child.
There is indeed so much to be grateful for, little specks are just that, they do not have to make my whole windscreen dirty.
Much love, Wilma
#16 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 19, 2010 - 1:32 pm
Hi Wilma,
Thank you!
If your child (inner or outer) is throwing a tantrum, that is fear…so I choose to address that fear and apply love as I do so…tantrums are also a way to release tension and toxins so I choose to find healthier alternatives to release negative. Release is necessary..if we continue to hold on we have no room for what is beauty filled and good and trying to fit in that space…
#17 by Chania Girl on June 18, 2010 - 6:34 am
I really, truly, and absolutely loved this post, Joy. It spoke to me! Thank you!
The advice I most needed to hear (and, therefore, will probably print off and post up somewhere) is the advice about Love. I struggle to be open to love. I do. My heart loves it, it wants it, but when Love presents itself to my open (or semi-open) heart, I distrust it: Is it really who it says it is?
#18 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 19, 2010 - 1:29 pm
Carla,
Thank you!
Love is exactly what it says it is. When you connect Being to Being, or are solo out in nature, or in your special spot of connection whatever that may be, you feel all that you know about Love. Each nerve ending knows, each particle of your being knows..it is your mind that introduces doubts. That is why I choose to turn off my mind and live from my heart..If you have a doubt, that is fear presenting itself..there is no place for fear in my garden:)
#19 by Tony Single on June 19, 2010 - 12:20 pm
Hi Joy, thanks for sharing what you wanted to share today. I would have something to say if the fine folks above hadn’t already said it! Dang you, fine folks! 😛
Seriously though, I do appreciate it. 🙂
#20 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 19, 2010 - 1:25 pm
Hi Tony,
Thank you!
Love those fine folks even though they tend to steal other’s words…:) Makes life much simpler when you don’t have to say anything, you may just feel it instead…
#21 by Haider on June 28, 2010 - 1:48 pm
Hi Joy,
I think an important lesson here, which you demonstrate very well, is to be compassionate with yourself. Judging and condemning ourselves isn’t healthy, yet we do it so often in the hope of rectifying our ways. By taking the right approach with ourselves and being kind and caring, we find growth comes more easily and freely.
I connected most with your “open your heart fully” lesson. When others push you away and reject your love because they’re too insecure about themselves to receive it, an easy response would be to not share the love and stay safe from rejection. But should people’s fears dictate how we live? Certainly not.
Thanks for sharing the lessons for your inner child with us. 😉
#22 by Tia Singh, Coach T.I.A on June 28, 2010 - 10:21 pm
“There doesn’t have to be a climb, a struggle, a mountain to move…” so simple, eloquent and beautiful! Glad I found you through the Life Series posts 🙂 Thank you! Tia
#23 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on June 30, 2010 - 3:55 am
Tia,
Thank you for stopping in!
Each day may be full of all of the beauty and delight that my heart is open enough to allow….
#24 by Zengirl @ Heart and Mind on July 6, 2010 - 7:55 am
Joy,
I think we all have inner child, who might be trying to get it out. I like that you mention life does not have to be struggle or continuation for moving one mountain after another, although it may seem like often as we are going through challenges. Good reminder to live, learn and enjoy.
#25 by Utpal Vaishnav on July 10, 2010 - 11:38 am
Good post Joy!
I liked the first one. I’ve also learned it the hard way that Perfection is a myth; chase the excellence.
Best,
Utpal
#26 by unfoldingyourpathtojoy on July 11, 2010 - 5:38 pm
Utpal,
Thank you…perfection may be a myth…it’s *peace* I allow for in my life…
#27 by sarahspositivethoughts on July 19, 2010 - 9:17 pm
Hi Joy,
I so love the peace and stillness that emanates from this wonderful blog. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I picture life as a journey in a kayac, so much more enjoyable if you can lift the oars out of the water and go with the gentle flow to the place you are meant to be. ‘You don’t have to struggle against the current’ is a fabulous life lesson. Thank you for this version of the same.
Warmest wishes
Sarah
#28 by Farnoosh on August 13, 2010 - 1:43 pm
Dear Joy,
Abubakar told me about your beautiful post. I am working with him on the ebook based on the Life Lessons Series and I was touched with yours. My favorite – and a new perspective for me – “Life isn’t meant to be a struggle, a climb, a swim against the current…life is about sharing energy, golden and pure. Life is about peace, joy, love, faith, creativity. ” – If only I knew this earlier but then again, maybe the right time to learn it is today, now and right here. Thank you for sharing these gorgeous thoughts!
#29 by Life Improvement on April 16, 2011 - 4:28 am
It is a good therapy to go online and read what other people has to say about life. learn to value your own life and try to listen to others who are trying to give you a good talk about how important you are. Life is amazing! Try to see the bright side of it 🙂